Never a posh shoe for a horsey person.

This post is for one of my dearest and closets friends Jessica. she has been there for me through everything and vis versa. She one in a Million.

I thoroughly enjoyed my 20 odd years of friendship. Yesterday I had a brilliant day, one of those days you will talk about when your grey and old and using walking sticks.

I was very kindly Invited to help steward at the Cardigan Bay Riding club Annual summer show!

For as long as I can remember I have always had something to do with horses even without a equine background or  horse addicted parents. I have been out there riding, grooming or mucking out in all weathers. This all came about because I adopted a new family. And this family happened to be the lucky Muir's or More Importantly Jessica!!
Jess has always let me ride with her and we have had many fantastic adventures on her horses.my earliest Memory was riding her Massive bay horse *Rufus up and down the barn with just a rug and head collar and lead rope. (To be honest I think that's how we always rode!!) But it was through Jess that I fell in love with horses! I went from Riding her Mums Donkey Katey who would walk happliy and then stop dead in the middle of the feild and no amount of kicking nudging or bribing would make her move forward so your ride was usually cute very short. Then I went on to ride her dear Pony *Midge he was awesome little fela. he managed to slide me off and escape this was when I started stunt riding. But it was Nothing but all good fun. through the years I learnt not to be afraid of horses and how to handle them properly.what not to do with horses. via some very painful lessons. And a stern word from mother Muir. (ekk) But through the years I done more and more. Even ending in Equine college doing horse management. And getting a job in a equine re rehabilitation centre. (a story for another post)

I don't think I would have had the oppitunites that I have had if it wasn't for Jessica and her family! and Yesterday helping them run the show, was My small way to give something back after all they have given to me!! So I would like to say a big thanks to, CBRC (Cardigan bay riding club) Moody cow Catering for the yummy Burger. (Yes I do eat!!), To Mitch who put up the jumps and who stood in the rain all day! and The biggest thank you too Jessica for everything. here's some photo's of me doing things.

 Llanechaeron house. was our Beautiful back-drop!

                                                supervising the Men!!






Putting the jumps away a real life game of tetras.

Don't judge a giraffe by it's pattern

This blog post was sparked by some comments  on a particular video I saw on youtube.As a subject close to my heart. I wanted to write this post to help people try and Understand the difference between being skinny and anorexic. As I don't know this girl on youtube, I can't personally defend her and I don't know her story! So I'm going to help you all to understand through my story!

Way back In the 1988 I was Born a happy healthy-ish baby, but judging by my dads hair or lack of not all was good and rosy for long. Almost from the day go, food was a battle for me. after spending months in hospital, I was soon nicknamed the Anorexic baby! Eating and keeping food down was a daily struggle for me and my parents. After some time the doctors  told my mum and dad that unless I started eating properly soon, I would die and that they should take me home and enjoy what time I had left!I can't Imagine how heart breaking that must have been for them. My parents took me over to the Netherlands, I think to say good bye to my Dutch family! Little did they know that this was when I would start eating! And I ate a-lot my mum said,she brought me back to Wales, had me weighed, and I hadn't put on a gram! Needless to say mum wasn't Impressed. But I was on a slow road to recovery and I wasn't going to die. So smiles all round.

From that day on, I struggled with food, never eating enough food. always trying to avoid food one way of another. I'm not sure why? But after a few years of me not eating and being a general pain in the butt, for my mum and dad, they had me referred me to a dietitian, I was dragged of to this one and that one , but me being me a stubborn pain never took the supplements they gave me or my peanut oil the all tasted odd, I was convinced, I would be sick if I had taken them. I now wish I had and I would have put weight on. (hindsight a wonderful thing) The struggle continued all the way through school. I wasn't worried about putting on weight at all that never really concerned me. I failed to ever maintain much weight and remained a skinny child and teenager. I just hated feeling full, so I'd eat as little as possible. If I had food left over, Id either throw it away when no one was looking, or Id hide it so as not to finish it. I think my brain confused feeling full or satisfied with, your going to throw up and so I'd rarely finish meals . . I'm no psychologist, but this is the only reason I can think of why I wouldn't eat properly.

I've Inserted a photo below, this was me about four year ago, so I was just 20 and I believe this was me at my skinniest!

Your probably wondering how my story has anything to do with the video I linked above?

Well during my child-hood and now into my adult life. I've had my fair share of criticism
and comments about my weight and appearance, some from well meaning relatives who where showing genuine concern and some where flippant comments from random members of the public.
these how ever they are said where untrue and hurtful. My mum and dad where obviously concerned for my well being and would encourage me to eat, This now that I'm older I'm extremely grateful for.

But the other comments I had from people I shall list but a few below really did upset me.
Stay with me a week we'll fatten you up you don't look like you've eaten a proper meal in your life
go eat a sandwich look at you your stick thin.
push you over you'd snap what you live on celery?
you'll wash away down a plug whole one of these days,
And here comes the cracker. this was from a lady in a changing rooms of a well known clothes shop
'' you want a smaller size - you are disgustingly thin. look at you. you should be ashamed to come out in public  you put people of there shopping''
this really upset me. (I can only assumed she didn't reach her target at weight watchers that week.)
I have been held back from activities at college  because I wasn't deemed strong enough to fulfil the tasks. ( I was at Equine college carrying twice the amount of feed on my shoulders than the other students but what ever!!)

I have even been threatened with my job as my boss was convinced that I was anorexia.  thanks for that assumption! well done. and forced me to eat infront of other members of staff of I'd get the sack! not sure how he'd work that in a work tribunal but there we go!

The point is that the term of the illness Anorexia is such a big label to stick on someone, Anorexia or Bulimia is and eating disorder as well as an mental illness. And those suffering with such affliction should be treated with the utmost respect and tenderness, as it's at such a time when they are as there most vulnerable and most self conscious.

So then to Label someone so quickly with the term anorexic just because they appear under weight, does not then mean that they are. And that poeple should be free of such prejudice. Just as much as some-one who is over weight, should just go on a diet. There is no quick fix solution to these issues. That person you may make a comment to, may well already be feeling extreamly self conscous and have low self asteem, there is enough in the world to bring us down we shouldn't then go out to pick wholes in our fellow human beings. encourage each other to enjoy the bodies we have been give and to cherish it and look after it.

Thank you for reading this.

To Olivia. If you are reading this, Girl, you are gorgeous and beautiful. You had guts to get up on camera and make that video. I did one and deleted it, because of all the hate, I would get now that you have done it, I will upload mine very soon .thank you for the Inspiration.x

Undress your skin foundation review.

Undress your skin Illuminating foundation.

I have tried many many foundations, mostly highstreet brands.such as Rimmel wake me up foundation and Rimmel colour match foundation also Bourjois healthy mix foundation in 52 this so far has been my favourite. My only hang up so far that how quickly I was using the product and the price. Admittedly they aren't as expensive as some high end products, but when you are on a very tight budget it's expensive enough,

The Undress your skin foundation has brilliant pigmentation and blends well into the skin. A little product can go a long way. the consistency is a little to runny in my opinion, I guess if I was using a beauty blender or foundation buffing brush, the consistency  wouldn't matter as much, but using my fingers I have to work quickly and make sure I blend it in really well to avoid streaks.

I also like the fact that, it has come in a light enough shade, that blends into my ghost like complexion, 

overall staying power. very good, it lasts all day. if accompanied with the pro base fixing mist, you are guaranteed your make up to stay all-day long.

 The packaging is brilliant, if you have come to the end and can no longer squeeze any more product out then you can simply cut the top of the tube and scoop out any remaining product, there fore none gets wasted, which was always a bug bear of mine with Rimmel foundations, that they where packaged in glass bottles. 

so overall I'm very happy with this product, and will defiantly be repurchasing it again.
Undress me Illuminating foundation retails at £3.00 from the any superdrug store or on the MUA website, http://www.muastore.co.uk/index.php/undress-your-skin-illuminating-foundation  
  

Workers or Shirkers?

 


As we all know we are living in trying times, money is tight we are all having to tighten our belts and save as much as we can wherever we can.  We are working harder for longer, as our pensions are decreasing all the time. We are all living longer.  We may feel that we are all being unfairly taxed and that we aren't getting back what we pay for.  Some think that there are a lot of people out there that should be working but aren't!

The benefit claimer?  Like it or loath it many suspect that a lot of our hard-earned cash goes to "can't work won't work" members of society! 

But think on this:  regularly we see on the news about companies going into administration, sometimes at the cost of hundreds, or even thousands, of jobs.  I imagine some of these people have been working for these companies for many many years, never missing a day's work and are suddenly finding themselves in the Jobcentre, along with their similarly long-serving colleagues.  This is a completely new environment to them, where they are suddenly slapped with the stigma of "Benefit Claimant". This must be heart breaking to (i) find your self in the predicament in the first place and (ii) to be so harshly judged. Try looking at it from their perspective.

Figures out from the Office of National Statistics in April 2012 detail 9.27million economically inactive people.   Does this though mean that everyone of those 9.27million have specifically chosen to not look for work and decided to live the benefit career.  Or among that figure are there the sick, disabled, young (school and university leavers), single parents, or the widowed, who have for whatever reason have be unable to get into work.  We shouldn't cast judgement on those who are claiming Benefits as we don't fully know their situation.  And we should accord them respect as fully valued members of society, not second-class citizens.

I'm sure that there is a individuals within the figure that perhaps aren't doing all they can to look
for work, but it's unfair to brand everyone with that judgement.  I know many people that are desperate for work.  I have been in that position and, on one occasion, jumped at the chance to disinfect lorries to earn money rather than live on Benefits.

Living off benefits can be soul destroying all on its own.  But when you are in that situation, have to visit the Jobcentre to sign on and you get smarmy comments from the staff, who I'm afraid do
look down on you as they have the job and you don't, coming out with phrases such as (and I quote) 'have you bothered to look for work this time', 'well you can't be that poor if you look that smart' and don't think this is a threat but as soon as you're better there are jobs out there - go get one or things will get uncomfortable for you' - some among many hurtful and unnecessary comments that I have had from Jobcentre staff.  Some seem to feel they have the Power of God, but it would be brilliant if they would just do their own jobs with appropriate courtesy! It has to be said that there are honourable exceptions to this observation.

But when you are genuinely sick and start getting letters threatening benefit cuts?  No ifs, no buts?  Surely the very reason you can't get out for work may also make it difficult to attend such appointments?  To then to be interrogated on every aspect of your condition? - this shows up more about The System than the attitude of those claiming the benefits

So next time you see that mum at the checkout carefully counting her change or the queue outside the Jobcentre, don't be too quick to judge.  We are all in uncertain times and you may just one day find yourself in the exact same place.  Treat others as you would like to be treated.

UK Top 40???

Who Are You Kidding?!

So I think we can all agree that over the past few hundred years our music has changed,
our tastes have changed and life events have influenced and inspired us to create music,
whether this is to express are views on issues such as poverty, (Plan B Ill Manors), highlighting poverty or discrimination again social classes.

All through time our opinions on life, society and relationships with people, drugs, alcohol
and sex, have been influenced by someone sitting down like I am today and putting lyrics to paper  and lyrics to music.

Some genres of music have been cast to certain types of society, For instance; classical orchestral music is by some people considered to be reserved to the high class citizens among us, the Oxford graduates, the stately home owners who have spent many a year acquiring a taste for the
sounds of the oboe and so forth.
This is not true, as classical music is slowly being incorporated into the hip hop scene, which is brilliant in my opinion, as two musical genres are coming together to create some hard hitting tracks, (Doc brown - Nothing to lose), for example, was written five years ago and in the background, you'll hear Vivaldi four seasons - winter. The reason I have chosen this song is because I believe it shows that the two genres can work together, it breaks the stereotype that is so often placed on the hip hop scene and opens the way for other artists to experiment. The other example I want to include here is Professor Green - Astronaut. This is an extremely heart felt track about rape and heroin addiction, the base for this song was a piece called Berlin Song by Ludovicio Einaudi, this piece brings home the emotion behind Professor Green's story on this particular track. Just another example of how classical music is being incorporated into the hip hop scene.  .

This leads me on to the common perception of 'urban music' (by that I mean HipHop, RnB, Rap etc) where many people believe it is derogative to women and boastful of drugs, alcohol and violence. 

Some of it is.

But not all of it! Like the saying goes: the minority spoil it for the majority!!! 
There are some really, really good artists out there who take a step back from the world around them and see what's going on and how it might be affecting them, and other people, and this then in turn inspires them to get writing. These artists are seeing the bigger picture, and are putting the word out there. Rap isn't all about guns, hoes and drive bys as a lot of people think it is. That is the stereotype, and a common misconception. For example  (Genesis Elijah  my truth), is a track about how the commercialised version of hip hop is unreal. He talks about not 'repping a gang that I was never in' which refers to the constant glamourisation of gang life in the hiphop scene and the fact that most of theses artists have never been in a gang anyway. His line 'Never been dumb, the music always had a message in' is another example of how some artists are willing to "sell out" to make money in the industry, yet he always remains dedicated to putting a message out there through his music. Many hiphop artists are perceived to be unintelligent 'yobs' and yet some of these artists are some of the most intelligent people you'd ever meet. He proves this point, with his track Bellyfull that was performed at the Occupy London demonstration at St Pauls Cathedral, London. It was taken from the EP 'Civil Unrest'  which is a politically minded collection of tracks, blowing the theory that rappers are all uneducated out of the water, and supports my point that not all rap is about guns, hoes and drive bys! The lyrics were very well thought out and put together and voiced a lot of our feelings and anger towards the economy in a very intelligent way, Something a few Politicians could learn from.

I think that hip hop has an unnecessarily bad reputation for its content. I agree that some hiphop (mainly the commercialised side) can be exactly the stereotype, but with artists such as Genesis Elijah, Jack Flash, Professor Green and Lowkey in the genre, it should be clear to see that some of these stereotypes are so incredibly wrong. There are artists out there who have a message to deliver to the rest of us, they have a meaning behind each and every track (just youtube any of those names and select any song you wish, my point will be proven) and its artists like these who are being underrated in the industry, while there are songs in the "Top 40" that have no message at all, no real meaning, just a club beat with some incredibly cheap lyrics thrown over the top, and a sexed up video to accompany. For example Amelia Lily - Shut Up (And Give Me What You Got). While this song is being played over our airways repeatedly on a day to day basis, no one has picked up on the lyrics. In hiphop when a song is 'degrading' to a woman, everyone complains about it, yet this track is suggesting the 'misuse and abuse' of men and no one batters an eyelid. This song has made it into the mainstream, while tracks like Jack Flash - There No More, and Lowkey - Bars For My Brother which are about real life topics, that people REALLY have to deal with, are left on the shelf. Where is pop's bad rep? Why does hiphop bear the brunt of all the negatives in the music industry when its the industry's fault that the real artists aren't getting heard. Our radio waves are full of generic pop beats with terrible lyrics and negative underlying messages with no musical talent involved. It just seems to me that the real musicians (be it lyrical or instrumental) don't get the recognition they deserve, while the likes of Amelia Lily, Cheryl Cole, One Direction and ESPECIALLY Psy (Gangnam Style) are murdering our ears with mindless nonsense about this girl or that guy and not having much to say. the real story tellers are not being heard!!!

It's because of these ridiculous double standards with today's music industry and on the radio that are making me want to boycott the radio until they start playing music that means something.

getting to the roots of things

This blog post is a follow on from recently upload youtube video click here to view Living with chronic headaches.

Chronic head aches can be severely debilitating and soul destroying, I have been suffering with them for over a year now! They came on a few month following a full face impact into a side of a bus! Ouchhy you may think. Yes it was not to mention highly embarrassing landing as a heap on the floor of the bus! A kind man got up to lift me up off the floor and dusted me off. I felt sore and  disgruntled more than anything and  annoyed that the bus driver failed to notice anything had happen, 

but following on from the accident I had some discomfort around my nose and a slight headache, It was expected after such and impact but it wasn't anything I was overly worried about, If anything
I counted all my fingers and toes that I got away with only slight injuries. So I persuded the company
to report the accident.. not for Selfish gain more to get the drivers to slow down and take bit more care on there narrow country roads! where many have sheer clif top drops YIKKES!! yes very Yikes,
 but went through with claiming compensation, But soon enough the whole incident was all forgotten about and I carried on with my Employment and the rest of my life.

Then came September some six months later, I started to suffer head aches the odd one or two was unusual for me so this was more of an irritation to me, but then moving from to the end of September the begging of October they started to get worse. They where getting more and more frequent going from one or two a week to nearly everyday. The pain was getting more and more intense that the general Paracetamol wasn't killing the pain or for that matter getting any where near touching it.

This is the time to PANIC.....no no it wasn't but was the time to go on the hunt for my Gp.
This is where the fun begins ( If only hey) I use the term fun is a very sarcastic way.

Unbeknown to be me this was the start of weeks and months escalating to a year long battle with every Medical professional that I needed scans and referrals. that sad truth about the NHS system is that if you come in walking or make you're own way to hospital that you are likely to be made to wait subjected to a torrent of unnecessary questions and stupid waiting times, If however you are transport less or deam your Condition bad enough to require and AMBULANCE then to call one you are straight in. no waiting around for doctors to or nurses to treat Mr student with the bad case of the hangover, but are seen and treated like a Genuine person will and Illness!

What I find increasingly frustrating is that then NHS rather spends hundreds of our (taxpayers) money on pharmaceuticals to treat symptoms rather than spending that money on scans test and specialities to treat under lying causes and treat them. Why dope someone up too the eyeballs and give them enough pain relief to knock out a bull, wouldn't it make more sense to spend the money on treating the person and getting the off there case load?! This I feel is what I'm constantly Coming up against. The figure fixing statistic forming poor approach to health care. It's no longer there in interest of patient or there care but more to satisfy the local health board and to 'save' money. Although I can't see alot of saving going on to be honest.

All in all I feel extremely let down by the NHS, I feel frustrated that it's still a service in which I am finding myself battling against to get basic help, Some thing has to change and very soon,

Have you ever heard a goose say thank you.

 So today was one of those days that as you stand peering out of your rain covered window
in a deary Thursday morning. What on earth did I get up out of bed for?!

The day started well, despite the weather, I resolved to keep my optimism that I would be able to
get everything done before dark. This largely consisted of walking the hound at least twice and motivating myself off the sofa and to go film a video for youtube. After all I was the one responsible
for setting myself the challenge of the week long up load. Everyday this week something as come up and has forced me to film later and later comprimising my good day light hours in which I can film.

Today was going to be one of those days, only difference was that I didn't realize how much of my time would be take up, so after my first assesment of weather and how much light I had.  I decided that I needed a sit down and plan this video (without a plan I just babble on for ages). Then came the STORM

I heard something on the news the night before about severe weather front heading for Britain but as we are some distance from the sea I didn't really take much notice.

But boy was this weather strong or what?  I walked the dog at 10.30am and was drenched through too erm.....well I'm sure you can guess where. The wind was strong but nothing I hadn't seen before! I came inside tried and failed at hiding from the wet rat... Oh wait, it was a dog. 
I could hear an awful roar from outside. The wind and rain came hurtling towards our house as we sit at the very top of the valley. It hit our house with some incredible force and well, it caused havoc. We had rain filled gusts of up to 70mph blowing apart anything standing in it wake. Our chickens had taken to hiding in their house, the geese resolved to acting tough guys and stayed in the garden out in the elements.  Well not really, the wind had shut the door to their house!

So after battling  with the wind and running around like a mad women to stop stuff flying away and damaging the house and cars, my mum and I decided we seen enough of the tough guy act from the geese ( I mean there is only so long you can keep that up for). We got them a fresh clean bed and opened the door to let the gooseys in! Sid and Gussy where thrilled to be in the dry and in nice comfortable house, after a bucket of food was brought to them Sid shoved his head in to gobble up a mouth full of poultry wheat then looked at my mum with his head cocked to one side and squawked a thank you. Delightful!  That's why you have animals, even when the weather is foul!